Christmas Eve

We enjoyed a very quiet week before Christmas which was much needed after the last few we have had. So Christmas Eve w as at our house and I was really stressed about hosting because we have so many traditions. And I wanted to accommodate our friends as well.

Chris cooked way too much food of course but we sent some home and have enjoyed the left overs. stuffed shells with shrimp and white sauce as well as a tomato sauce with sauce. a fried goat cheese salad, steak on the grill and a homemade german chocolate cake for dessert.

We had a great time and over all the evening was very laid back.

this was also a good bye dinner for these two amazing people. who we miss already! but boston will be a fun place to visit. the baby is in love with adam and did not want to leave him.

adam and suzy helped us sing some Christmas songs

we read and watched the video of Luke 2 and had a great conversation about things that we like from the Nativity story. And lastly we read the Polar Express. Stockings out and Pj's on!

getting ready for bed....and he was excited and up to late

3 stockings this year!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Santa brought a few things for the baby!

another baby.......

we forgot our camera for this little holiday party but our phones make video so easy! these 2 together were just so cute and funny all night! we love baby roscoe.....

holiday party

we have a great support system here with our friends through foster care. we had a little christmas party together! we always have really good food and great entertainment (usually the kids but sometimes a movie or games).

we exchanged small gifts mostly for the kids but i made a star ornament for each family.

This group has really taken us in and each month almost we get together. they are really the only ones who can truly understand what this feels like and they help us so much just by listening and sharing in our complaints and heartache. we are grateful and lucky to have them as friends and support.

not sure what was so funny?

sweet sleepy baby

Christmas at the Sacred Grove

the visitors center at the sacred grove held an open house for the public with cinnamin rolls, hot chocolate and tours of the farm.

we sang christmas songs that the smith family would have sang at the time and heard more stories about their family. it was fun to see the lights, all the people and enjoy the spirit of christmas at this special place.

we never did get a really good picture of the temple or the lights over the farm but I kinda like how these turned out.

it was really, really cold but baby K was so happy and laughed at all the lights and people. he is one happy little guy!

it was a great way to spend a family home evening!

winter......

I am trying to enjoy the beauty of this time of year!

what a weekend......

this is where we ended up Sunday night/Monday morning

(Chris was so sweet to take care of not only the baby but me all weekend..he is a great daddy and husband!)

we have not detailed all the happenings on the blog with foster care because it is just that, way too many ups and downs to write. and i do hope that some of these memories will fade and be just that, a memory and not a painful reality. this weekend is one that i do not think i can forget.

i was emotionally exhausted before friday even got here because of the worry and distress about baby K's first overnight with his birth mom; in rehab, with a roommate, new place, a new person and when bio mom was really unprepared. the caseworker disagreed and really did not want this to take place, we of course did not want this to happen but when the judge orders it; we have to do it. after dropping the baby off and having her rip him out of our arms screaming we were feeling awful about the next 24 hours. so Chris and i went to the temple which was exactly what we needed. at one point both of us felt that something was wrong but we have no way of knowing what that was. we slept (kinda) and stayed really busy satuday morning before picking him up.

when we got there he was not just asleep but passed out dead tired in the stroller. bio mom said everything went perfect! he however, did not wake up when we moved him, he did not wake up when we put in the car seat, he did not wake up for an hour after we got home and since he usually takes a 12:00 bottle we tried really hard to wake him up at 1:00 to eat. But he threw up and continued to throw up. He was so tired and went right to sleep and after not keeping anything down, slept for 5 hours. We got worried because we had not seen a wet diaper so we woke him up or tried and fed him again. More throw....we called the after hours clinic. no help! actually the nurse was really rude. And this pattern continued through the night. sleep, worry, try to wake up, fed, throw up. Sunday more of the same and finally after more calls to the nurse and no wet diaper we headed into the ER.

I tried to keep the details simple because there is so much more that goes into this. Everyone reassures us that things went perfectly with bio mom and she did everything right! Even explaining that it must be a coincidence that the baby got sick the exact moment he came home. I hate not knowing what happened and the worst part is we get to do it all over again this Friday!

It is already Tuesday and I am spent. We so much appreciate the emails, calls and messages!! We know that things for us would have been more difficult to handle without your support and love. I know there are things that could be much worse and I am sorry to vent and complain. There are just so many emotions that go with what happened this weekend. We love this baby and worry about what will happen to him and to us since the plan is for him to be reunited.

snow, SNOW, sNoW...

It has not stopped snowing in days! And I am trying really hard to enjoy this time of year as well as the rest. I have to find the beauty of this cold, grey season...where the sky and the landscape become one in the same. Argh!

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was, in me, an invincible summer."

~Albert Camus

We took the baby out for seriously 10 minutes. It was so much effort to get him and myself dressed. He had so many layers on all he could do was lay there. We laid him down a few times inside to just laugh because he could not move! I knew he wouldn't last long.


it also looks like we just threw him in the snow but chris played with him and he was right there the whole time. we have almost 3 feet in our yard. it is here to stay until March.

These pictures are very deceiving because he was not enjoying himself very much. But we did get a few happy, smiling pictures. He is a good sport!

chris fed him some snow. yek!
The snow really is pretty. Everything just takes so much more effort, scraping and warming the cars, all the clothes to stay warm, my feet getting wet and cold. I really am not looking forward to the long, long winter months. but the baby at least got to experience it for the 1st time.

the love for santa

this is just too funny! at what age do children start to love and adore all things santa. definitely not at 11 months. there is really only a short window of time that santa plays such a huge part of a fantasy world for children. baby K is really very outgoing and social; most of the time but he wanted nothing to do with santa. not for a second!

we had a great little breakfast with santa on saturday. it was really nice and we were pleasantly surprised at how calm the whole thing was. i was expecting crazy, wild excitment. but the food was great and it was all very relaxing and casual. bobo ate everything we gave him including a really greasy tatter tot. it was also my birthday which was a fun way to start the day off.

he was a very calm, very quiet santa. i tried to prepare boboy all week with "ho, ho, ho's" but i do not think I heard one from this santa.

we tried to get a family picture but it is hard to hand over your camera to someone who apparently does not know how to take a picture with yours. (i think cameras are really all pretty much alike--no?)

we tried mrs claus because she seemed a little less terrifying with dad behind me making faces. but no! we just could not get a good santa picture!

maybe next year!

and we ended like this!
poor kid.
poor santa!!