Tuesday, June 29, 2010

balance?

maybe it is just me being too hard on myself because i do that but i have found with new challenges that i am not allowing myself time to relax or de-stress. which in the end is much worse because then i just melt down. i need to strike a better balance with all that we are juggling these days. i know this is constant but for some reason i am just never exactly satisfied no matter where it swings...even when yw is busy i cannot let go of the things left undone. work is so busy and i am constantly adding on new things. i cannot let myself just leave the toys on the floor or the laundry pile for a few days (we are now doing laundry everyday!) when i let go of those things and just enjoy time with the baby i then feel guilty because 4 hours will go by without a single "thing" being done. there is never enough time for chris and me--like baths or actually blowing out my hair any more.....ah!! what a game to balance life.

and for this stage in our lives i just need to prioritize my time and my "to do list." when i am at work i work hard and leave it there. when i am at home we laugh and play and enjoy time together. and when we have a break with yw---enjoy that time off! we have a great life together and we enjoy every second we have with capo.

and i am learning to let go so that i can stop and smell the lilies every once in a while. i love the scripture "Be still and know that i am God." i forget sometimes how important this time is and that these are some of the sweetest moments.


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today we got some much needed rain after a heat wave of 100+...i am not used to that!


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Thursday, June 24, 2010

a new baby!!

yep this is gilda much to our displeasure
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there is something wrong with our toy companies. i looked forever to find a baby boy doll they do not make them or i was just simply not willing to go to four or five stories to find one. the only thing i could find at target was a newborn cabbage patch baby that the sales women insured me was a boy because this newborn did not have any hair and was sure that it would have blue clothes. she was wrong and so our family has a birth certificate for Gilda Frances born February 6th pheww! poor kid will have a naked baby doll or one with pink clothes forever! sorry!!
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i really have strong opinions about it because all those little boys will some day be dads so why is it socially unacceptable for our baby boys to play with dolls plus all babies love to look at other babies, pictures of babies and of course baby dolls...so make some baby boy dolls already.
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enough of me on the soup box about baby dolls...baby boy is pushing up to crawl...he loves to move and be busy trying to make his body do what he wants it to. it is a frustrating time for all of us.
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and one just because he is cute.
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really?

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lately we have been riding the rollercoaster that has become our life with fostercare. and i am wondering why we decided to do this. it was not an easy decision and it took us years to both be in agreement. but we felt very directed to do this route. but this week i have been wondering why. i mean really heavenly father this is the way that you wanted us to start our family? i know this is not how it works but it is not easy! in fact it is really, really hard!! we were well aware of the challenges but i never figured that this would be such an emotional rollercoaster and challenging in so many ways. i am not sure we can handle it. (i feels kinda like a mission-people tell you all about the challenges, the hard times and the struggles but until you are there you have no idea what that really means).....
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we can! of course and will but sometimes i just do not want to. it hurts! i have faith in heavenly father and the direction that we choose but really could he not make it a little easier? i am such a wimp.

just wanted to complain for a minute......as well as remember the struggles because i know we will only remember the joys because there are also a lot of those!

Monday, June 21, 2010

big boy!

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relaxing

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during our evening walk baby feel asleep in the moby-so cute!
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last week i get up early for our visit with birth mom i was ready for a run while the baby stayed for a visit and i was so excited to find time to go. after we got there they said she was not coming....that has happened a few times. ah! anyway we headed home and i was determined to at least get a walk in so i strapped baby on with the moby and we took off. i love our neighborhood and we were enjoying the day. then i starts to rain! no umbrella, nothing!! and we were about 30 minutes away from home. and it was not just a rain but a down pour. poor baby. the best thing was he did not care at all-he was asleep the whole time!
we had people stopping offering umbrellas, rides and telling me how crazy i was to be out with him! bad parent.

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we also have been hunging out in the hammock more. the evening weather is so nice and cool. summer time!

father's day

we enjoyed a really yummy meal together on sunday to celebrate father's day. the plan was to spend it with friends but we both were sick and so it had to be rescheduled!

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chris made his famous risotto and we found this really fabulous blueberry salad receipe with goat cheese. to die! and this fresh dessert with homemade whipped cream. other wise it was a busy sunday with meetings and church but we enjoyed the evening together!

Happy Father's Day! I really appreciate what Chris does for both of us. He works so hard and balances my life when I need it most. He makes me a better person and supports me to be better and do more. He is a great dad.

Chris also had several father's day parties throughout the week. At work we had a celebration for dads with activities and games. I was going to teach infant massage but no babies came! I was prepared with music, lotion and even a plastic doll so chris could practice on bobo. we took pictures and printed them with a cute poem for all the dads who came.

summer time

i had a rough day on saturday and poor chris took the worst of it. isn't that always the case that the one you love the most you are the hardest on. i woke up early after a long night to help clean out our closet at the stake and once I got there I realized that the leader in charge had not contacted all the people who shared the closet so instead reorganizing the two of us spent all day going through everyone elses' stuff (junk! really) I was so tired and exhausted by the time I got home 5 hours later!! seriously! when we called one of the leaders he replied that he could not come over because he was doing saturday stuff. really! I want to do saturday stuff as well. ah! I was mad.
anyway-i had not eaten anything but we got ready and went over to our friends house for a party. it was great but something did not sit well...(it could have been the snacks and chips on an empty stomach) but i spent the night throwing it all back up! yek....and then sunday recovering.

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we did enjoy swimming again and of course a really good meal. it was fun and really great company. it was a super hot day so the pool just felt amazing! and the baby found a place to lounge while he got pushed around the pool. so cute.
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the zoo

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monroe county offered a free night at the zoo with all the foster parents and children. they had a cook out and the zoo was closed for us.
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it was a fun night to walk outside, meet new families and hear their stories. it was comforting to meet so many others who were doing and going through some of the same things we are.
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i do not think booboo will remember but it was a fun night at the zoo! and now it feels more like summer.

Friday, June 18, 2010

book love!

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with both grandma's being teachers and librarians this kid has no choice but to love books! i have collected children's books for years and chris cannot stop reading.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

our yard

we love the large city lot that we have at the house as well as the huge old trees. we cannot however grow grass under those huge trees in the back yard. so when grampa roy was here he suggested making some major cuts to the trees and letting the sunlight shine more.

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we have a lot more light now in all of the windows at the back of the house. we will see what happens with the grass!

Capo hung out in his bumbo chair while we worked.

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I promise the boy has clothes!!

5 months

Baby cakes is 5 months!

I am not sure where that last month went......(sorry another baby update but this blog is our journal and a way to keep track of what he is doing-just skip it if you could care less what the baby is doing this month!)

but he is now eating rice cereal and loving it
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discovered how fun his toes are but cannot get them in his mouth despite many grunts and growls at them!
rolling over more
pushing up on his hands and knees....some times
loves baby massage, swimming, books and grabbing at them
definitely turns his head to mom and dad's voice
cries when they are not around and will not play on the floor on his own
gets more frustrated with the lack of motor skills
he yells a lot and loves to make different noises-da, ga, and just yells.....
but can sit on his own for small amounts of time
he loves music and will wakeup from a dead sleep and just listen quietly
does not have to have a helmet but has a big misshapen head so the plastic surgeon says
has also discovered other body parts and pulls on his ears, nose and everything on other's faces as well as earrings

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and is finally on the growth chart @ 13 lbs 12 oz

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and really truly can sleep any where!

pj's

sorry but old navy has some really cute PJ's

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Chris and I were talking last night just about how our lives changed recently and so suddenly. We were planning and preparing for years but we never could have imagined how much richer our lives could have been. Capo just brings so much joy to our home and to so many around him. My co-workers have all declared themselves god parents, our church family has just fallen in love especially the YW and the branch. And our fostercare family has been so wonderful and supportive.

We knew that fostercare was what we were supposed to do and now that Capo is here we know why but we had no idea that we would met so many wonderful families, workers, nurses and doctors that would become our close friends and change our lives as well.

Visits will never be easy for me and truly I think it is because that is the time when I have no control over what happens to him and half the time I do not even know what has gone on. But I am learning to care for and love Capo's birth mom. She really needs someone who cares for her unconditionally. We feel much more prepared now for lds family services if that is where we are led to next. For now we are so full of love for this little boy and gratitude for our Heavenly Father for the joy that he is and the miracles that we see. So many little things have happened where we recognize the hand of the Lord working in our lives but especially in his life. We are simply able to witness it and enjoy the ride.

"As long and laborious as the effort may seem, please keep shaping and setting the stones that will make your accomplishment a grand and imposing spectacle. Take every advantage of opportunity to learn and grow. Dream dreams and see visions. work toward their realization. Wait patiently when you have no choice. Lean on your sword and rest a while, but get up and fight again...you are laying the foundation of a great work--your own inestimable future." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

laughing



Capo loves to laugh and smile. this is what he sounds like when he is really tired. We finally got a video of it because he usually will just stare at the camera when we pull it out and stop giggling.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

blanket

Sorry these are not great pictures but I wanted to remember this sweet note before we lost it somewhere.

Chris' grandparents Foote live in southern Utah and have never met baby capo but they have always been so sweet and supportive of whatever chris and i do. they still have the homestead ranch that grandpa warren grew up on. we have (even I) so many memories of the house and area. they have served missions, are temple workers in st. george and still work on the ranch! what great people and examples they are to us.

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anyway grandma blanche made and sent this sweet, sweet baby blanket just for capo.

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they sent it with this sweet note: (it makes me cry every time)

just a section of it-"We are sending a baby quilt for baby. It is one that Grandma has made for her special great grandchild and wants baby to have it. She says it isn't a fancy one but one to be used; it has a lot of love and wear in it. We sure love all of you and hope and pray for the best."

memorial day

this has become a favorite tradition....to join the molinari's for their small town parade and cemetery service. they always make wonderful food and we just hang out and talk.
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this year we missed most of the parade because the police officer had already stopped traffic and even with a baby plea to let us through he refused! so we walked! It was really, really a hot day though.

I appreciated the remarks given in remembrance of those who have died and gratitude for those who serve. It was a heartfelt reminder.

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we first met gary five years ago when we moved into the brighton ward. he was in the bishopric and was always very considerate and personal with us. he reached out in very specific and personal ways. i remember welcoming their oldest into YW and now we celebrating her HS graduation. crazy!
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they have been so good to chris and i and we appreciate their entire family!! once again we had a great relaxing day off!
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Monday, June 7, 2010

a chair

I drive chris crazy with projects and ideas for the house but some are cheap and easy. Plus it keeps me busy and i love a good project.

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This chair is finally done! and we spent about $8 on it. we picked this chair off from a neighbors house, it did not have a bottom any more which is probably why it was being disguarded. after some paint and a seat cushion we have a side table chair for our bedroom. i used left over pieces from our quilt in a very random design. i like it but it is not perfect and some of the fabric pieces and the cushion bother me but for a few dollars we like it. and it gave me something to do with my hands. love that.
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NY is a different place in the spring and i love so many things about it.

flowers, long walks, festivals, green everything, yard work, swimming, bb-q's, bird watching, the hammock, bike rides, hikes, road trips, eating outside even at restaurants, friends, reading, longer days, the sunshine! the sounds, travel, our yard, house projects, laundry on the line, redwings games, holidays, the smells, camping, less yw activities, our wood pile, popsicles and more ice cream, candles outside, more time with family

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Firsts

we have the best foster care friends. every two months or so we get together and just have the best time. they are a huge support to us and really help by listening and offering advice especially when the system gets complicated and messy!

this weekend we had a fabulous bbq and capo got to swim in their pool for the first time.
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have you ever seen a more excited and thrilled face. he loved it! it took him a while to get used to
the water but after the shock he kicked his little legs and could not stop smiling!

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i love his little swim diaper. how funny is that!

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chris loved swimming with the baby as well.
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the little boy in the picture is 4 years old and baby bear just loves him. they giggled and played with each other all day. he wanted to hold baby and sing to him and even swim with him. it was cute!

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they even took some really great pictures.

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After an hour in the pool he was really tired