some times we wonder....

.....if our current situation was a choice of ours or if it is simply the affects of our mortal, imperfect state. I am sure we all have moments of wondering whether our trials and struggles were given to us or ones where we knew we could handle them so we volunteered. I love Brother Bordercik's talk/book uses of adversity about this.

But I guess I am not sure! and I guess it really does not matter.

We can face whatever comes. And we will not become bitter or even sad. It is hard at times but we find moments of strength where we push forward or are being pushed forward. At times we even thank the Lord for those moments because we can look back and see so much growth, learning and blessings even.

We also feel blessed to have others who have gone through similar situations and they give us strength and offer example. There have also been others who have turned away from the Lord and become bitter. And I hope and pray that we can make it through the times ahead. Blessing after blessing we have never received the answer that there would be an easy way out. So again we hope and pray that we can just survive and be happy with where we are at!


My mom mentioned to us that we are really taking a risk. Instead of sitting around growing bitter about the loss of dreams or hopes; we are trying every avenue possible to change things. I have thought about that a lot and watched others who have also put themselves out there trusting that the Lord would take care of them in every way but also knowing that there would be heart break, trials and even loss. In the culture of the church we feel like we have to live up to the ideal (marriage, family) but that is not the principle of the gospel. Which is being worthy of the blessings that Heavenly Father has for all of his children. The culture tells us that if we are not married or do not have children there is not value in our membership. But that is not true. Our worthiness is not dependant on our marital status or how many children we have. Nor is our righteousness. That being said though it is not enough to just sit and wait for a spouse to knock on your door; you have to try every kind of dating and take the risk that you might get heart broken. We have had many conversations about these principles with members of our branch and I wish that culture of the church were different. But I do love that the principles are the same for me, for them and for everyone just different circumstances. That when we trust in the Lord, try everything that he asks us to and stretch when it is not enough. Elder from the Jensen from the Seventy talked about those who are different in this months Ensign. I loved his words!

but right now though we are enjoying this Wyoming baby! and getting ready for football season.

i am not sure how i convinced chris to take this picture and i am sure he will love that i am posting it.

something i should have learned in kindergarten

when someone is mean to you, you do not have to be mean back!

I do not have to let the words or actions of another make me a person that I do not want to be and act in a way that i do not want to. I have to, need to and well really want to communication with this person. So I have to stretch myself to be positive, forgive often and let go of the things that are said and done. And be proud of who I am and treat them kindly. I pray to see them always as a daughter of God and well really just not get in the way of His love for her.

Maybe in other relationships I have distanced myself or just avoided them but this one I cannot do that. And the change will have to be in me. I do not see this other person even recognizing what they are doing. I have never been great at communicating and especially confrontation so this is a chance to learn and grow. but i am so frustrated!

so i am CHOOSING (or trying to)another way!

we made some organic baby food to freeze from the fresh veggies from the SWFM. It was really easy and we feel better about making our own. good stuff!

Favorite things

Monday I had one of those really frustrating days at work. Chris was working from home with the baby! So when I got home they were upstairs just hanging out. I came up the stairs calling out for the baby. Chris said he stopped dead and looked for me. When I came around the corner and he saw me, he screamed, laughed, arms outstretched for me with a huge dimpled grin. I just melted! And nothing from the day mattered! I love that kid!

He is just about 7 months but this kid has stranger anxiety already! Twice now other people were holding him and he was fine until he saw me across the table, looked back at who was holding him and back at me. Then the little lip starts to quiver and then the screams! So cute!

My favorite summer time thing right now has been hanging out on the hammock. The baby loves to be outside so when he cannot sleep or i just want to be outside, we head out. He looks at the trees and stops to listen to the birds. It makes him so happy! we are also loving his little pool.

And we could not love our jogging stroller more!! the night walks are great and baby sleeps every time.

after a week of diaherra which led to a horrible diaper rash, he hung out all commando....and now baby is much better. How cute is that hiney!

And lastly, my very favorite thing right now is our bedtime routine. Baby has decided that life is too fun to miss even when he is exhausted! And now it takes great effort to get him to sleep. So after feeding, bathtime, massage-we read scriptures together and maybe a few baby books, sing some primary songs and he is usually calm enough to lay down. It is such a nice ending to our day together and I love just talking, playing and having time with each other.

choose

I have been reflecting on my choice of word for the year......CHOOSE and I am realizing how much this makes sense for my experiences and even needs for this year. My time and energies are more limited, the interactions at work are more stressful, and the experiences with foster care have been so intense. The word keeps popping in my head that I have a choice. I am not doing very well at everything I set out to do this year. But I do have more control of how I will spend my time and even my attitude and mood despite what happens around me. I am choosing every day the very best thing for me and for my family or so I am trying. I am chooseing to respond with love, charity and kindness. I choose and am determined to find a balance in a busy life to do the things that really matter and have real worth. That is my choice and I have control of that. We are doing better.

What really helped me find more clarity was getting ready for our youth pioneer trek. I read and read so many stories but one that my mom told me and later sent to me really stuck with me. There is an account of it in Undaunted by Lund.


The pioneers who were sent to the hole in the rock in southern UT had no idea before hand the land or the conditions they would encounter. So at one point they found themselves at the top of a steep, rocky ravine. One of the male leaders of the group organized them and one by one they strapped horses and men to the wagons and down they went. Sliding and slipping the entire way! From there they had to cross and deep river. So this man left his wife and three young children including a newborn baby at the top of the hill as one by one they lowered the wagons. After all day of helping others and the night approaching he realized that most of the men and horses were already across the river and there would be no one to help his own family down the hill. So he climbed to the top to find his wife and children alone waiting for the men to help them down the steep hill. But there would be no one so he and his wife decided that they would do alone. So with one old, hurt horse his wife volunteered herself to be strapped to the wagon and she would hold it back from sliding the entire way down. She turned to her oldest and said stay away from the edge and gave the newborn to her 3 year old. They prayed to make alive.

When most of the other wagons took several horses and several men, this women and mother strapped herself to the wagon and down they began. It was steep and the old horse slipped right away pulling her down as well. She gathered her footing after a flesh tearing slide but the horse could not stand. So they creaped down dragging the old horse the entire way. They made it down alive and climbed to the top again to find her 3 young children singing songs, playing and the baby fast asleep.

This is faith, courage and strength (Joshua 1:6)

I have thought about all of their stories over and over. It is amazing that it still gives me strength and determination to push forward, not settle and not give in but to keep fighting when you have no idea how things will work out or how much more difficult it could get. I am so grateful for past and modern day pioneers. It is more than a legacy and more than an example.

that fake laugh

too funny!

the pageant

so it is pageant time again! we are not pageant people (there are those who most assuredly are in the stake) but recognize that it is a good tool to introduce people to the BOM and that we can learn some things too. so we did end up going, inviting some friends and co-workers and supporting those who participated at the hill.

this year we decided that we would bring our own treats, chairs and sit in the back where we could spread out. it was the best way to do it! plus you could see much better....now the world can continue to move in our stake..hehe!

1/2 birthday

really this kid is 6 months old already.

We enjoyed a delicious carrot cake for him!

and he had too much fun opening the gifts

the cute neighbors next door sent him over new swim shorts as well as a little music box. they are so cute! and we got him a little pool for the back yard.

what a funny kid.

he now weighs in at 15 lbs 7 oz which is 20% of his weight class! way to go! 24 1/4 inches only 5 % so he is a peanut still and even lower his head size! poor kid-41.3 cm and 4%! we are very proud.

at 6 months he has developed a really funny, fake laugh and does it a lot! we went to DC and he was great in the car again. he rolls over both ways, pushes up and rocks, he moves in circles and pushes backwards. he spent a week with diarrhea and then another getting over the diaper rash that it caused. he loves people, faces, babies including his buddy gilda and anything that makes noise and that he can touch. he reaches for everything and grunts for you to move him so he can either touch it or eat it! he will sit up on his own for long periods of time without falling! has spent long hours in his kiddy pool splashing and getting more tan...i am so jealous of his beautiful skin. and enjoys three visits a week with bio mom.

what a happy, joyful and beautiful baby! we are loving every second we have with him!

birthday

cute little video

nursery

the baby's room

Even though the baby is now 6 months old the nursery is still not exactly how we want it setup but we did only have an hour between the time we knew Capo was coming and when he actually came home!

daddy

swimming in the pool....or more like lounging but he loves it!

how cute are these 2

too much fun playing with dad

and finally asleep

on the way home....

we stopped by at Arlington Cemetery. Which is such an amazing place. It was a great humbling place to end our 4th of july celebrations. We are so lucky to live in a country that is safe, free and one in which so many sacrifice every day for us to enjoy those blessings. I am grateful.

It was 100+ so we decided to take the tour bus since we did not have our stroller with us. It was a good way to see the entire place in about an hour. Plus we heard more stories about the people and location as well as learned so much about the cemetery.

Baby did so well and just watched all the people and quietly looked at everything around him.

and the trip ended in the parking lot of the McD's where bobo peed all over the picnic table the instant we changed his diaper! what a great trip.

the 4th in DC

We just had the best time on the 4th of July. Jared took us to the top of the hotel he works at and we brought yummy treats to watch the fireworks.

the view of the city was amazing as was the sunset

the fireworks show was great and all we were missing was the patriotic music but we did avoid the traffic, the crowds and the noise!

Baby even woke up long enough to see a few fireworks.

here is the group! we had such a fun time just talking and laughing. at one point everyone had left and we started getting ready to leave. we looked at the clock and it was almost midnight....

thanks for a fabulous 4th of July!!

monday we were just so busy i do not think i have one picture but there was shopping! baby playing and a fabulous dinner over looking the river. we stayed up too late talking and got up early with babies so i am not sure we were any help at all to krystal and jared but more distracting. we had a great time!

2 babies

sunday the babies were blessed and it was such a sweet blessing for both. jared did a great job and they looked so cute together in their little outfits.

we snapped a few of the family as well.