something i should have learned in kindergarten

when someone is mean to you, you do not have to be mean back!

I do not have to let the words or actions of another make me a person that I do not want to be and act in a way that i do not want to. I have to, need to and well really want to communication with this person. So I have to stretch myself to be positive, forgive often and let go of the things that are said and done. And be proud of who I am and treat them kindly. I pray to see them always as a daughter of God and well really just not get in the way of His love for her.

Maybe in other relationships I have distanced myself or just avoided them but this one I cannot do that. And the change will have to be in me. I do not see this other person even recognizing what they are doing. I have never been great at communicating and especially confrontation so this is a chance to learn and grow. but i am so frustrated!

so i am CHOOSING (or trying to)another way!

we made some organic baby food to freeze from the fresh veggies from the SWFM. It was really easy and we feel better about making our own. good stuff!

choose

I have been reflecting on my choice of word for the year......CHOOSE and I am realizing how much this makes sense for my experiences and even needs for this year. My time and energies are more limited, the interactions at work are more stressful, and the experiences with foster care have been so intense. The word keeps popping in my head that I have a choice. I am not doing very well at everything I set out to do this year. But I do have more control of how I will spend my time and even my attitude and mood despite what happens around me. I am choosing every day the very best thing for me and for my family or so I am trying. I am chooseing to respond with love, charity and kindness. I choose and am determined to find a balance in a busy life to do the things that really matter and have real worth. That is my choice and I have control of that. We are doing better.

What really helped me find more clarity was getting ready for our youth pioneer trek. I read and read so many stories but one that my mom told me and later sent to me really stuck with me. There is an account of it in Undaunted by Lund.


The pioneers who were sent to the hole in the rock in southern UT had no idea before hand the land or the conditions they would encounter. So at one point they found themselves at the top of a steep, rocky ravine. One of the male leaders of the group organized them and one by one they strapped horses and men to the wagons and down they went. Sliding and slipping the entire way! From there they had to cross and deep river. So this man left his wife and three young children including a newborn baby at the top of the hill as one by one they lowered the wagons. After all day of helping others and the night approaching he realized that most of the men and horses were already across the river and there would be no one to help his own family down the hill. So he climbed to the top to find his wife and children alone waiting for the men to help them down the steep hill. But there would be no one so he and his wife decided that they would do alone. So with one old, hurt horse his wife volunteered herself to be strapped to the wagon and she would hold it back from sliding the entire way down. She turned to her oldest and said stay away from the edge and gave the newborn to her 3 year old. They prayed to make alive.

When most of the other wagons took several horses and several men, this women and mother strapped herself to the wagon and down they began. It was steep and the old horse slipped right away pulling her down as well. She gathered her footing after a flesh tearing slide but the horse could not stand. So they creaped down dragging the old horse the entire way. They made it down alive and climbed to the top again to find her 3 young children singing songs, playing and the baby fast asleep.

This is faith, courage and strength (Joshua 1:6)

I have thought about all of their stories over and over. It is amazing that it still gives me strength and determination to push forward, not settle and not give in but to keep fighting when you have no idea how things will work out or how much more difficult it could get. I am so grateful for past and modern day pioneers. It is more than a legacy and more than an example.

Dear winter...and word of the year

I have such a hard time after Christmas and New Year's are over. The winter really sets in, it gets dark at 4:45 and the snow does not stop falling. Upstate NY just looks grey and dead!

So it has given me a chance to stay warm inside with a good book, a fire and lots of evenings not running errands or fun outside but time to organize, declutter my house and life. And set some really good goals for the year!

CHOOSE

I love this idea of picking a word that will cover the year....it will help me set new goals and create a new direction for me this year.

choose.....really stuck out to me. I love the word because:

1) I want to be control of how my time is spent. What activities I do and how my life is run. Sometimes I feel like time is just slipping through my fingers and I want to make the most of every day. One of my favorite scriptures comes from D&C 64:33 "Where be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of smalls things proceedth that which is great."

2) We have our free agency a gift from our Heavenly Father to choose what life we will live and who we will become

3) Our attitudes have so much to do with how things turn out. I can wake up each day and choose to be happy, choose to live the gospel and choose to follow the commandments of God

"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." ~Joshua 24:15

"Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life." ~2 Nephi 10:23

This year I will CHOOSE to be positive, choose to spend my time on things that have real value and worth, to be engaged in meaningful work and service, to give more, to be happy were I am at in life right now, to have more confidence, to be happy with the way I look, to be wise with our money and to love life.

I feel like this will really be a good one.