Thursday, June 24, 2010

really?

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lately we have been riding the rollercoaster that has become our life with fostercare. and i am wondering why we decided to do this. it was not an easy decision and it took us years to both be in agreement. but we felt very directed to do this route. but this week i have been wondering why. i mean really heavenly father this is the way that you wanted us to start our family? i know this is not how it works but it is not easy! in fact it is really, really hard!! we were well aware of the challenges but i never figured that this would be such an emotional rollercoaster and challenging in so many ways. i am not sure we can handle it. (i feels kinda like a mission-people tell you all about the challenges, the hard times and the struggles but until you are there you have no idea what that really means).....
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we can! of course and will but sometimes i just do not want to. it hurts! i have faith in heavenly father and the direction that we choose but really could he not make it a little easier? i am such a wimp.

just wanted to complain for a minute......as well as remember the struggles because i know we will only remember the joys because there are also a lot of those!

4 comments:

Becky said...

Gilda is an interesting addition. He does seem to be fascinated. As always LOVE the pictures!

The Kenyons said...

I hope that it will get better soon. We are still praying for you! He is very precious and he is a lucky guy to get you and Chris!

melissa said...

What a beautiful baby! He looks so happy to be part of your family. We love you and I think about you guys often. It's a mystery why such wonderful people like you guys have to take such a difficult, windey path to be parents. But I'm sure you know (and count on) that it will all be worth it in the end. :) Hang in there! You're never alone! xoxo

Daisy said...

Lisa, I just have to say, thank you for being so open and honest on your blog. Tears always seems to surface as I read of your joys and struggles. You are an amazing woman and couple. May the Lord bless you for your faith and obedience.

On another note, I'm in Wyoming and we took an afternoon drive up the switchbacks to Worthen Meadows and I thought of you and all the good times we had camping in that area.