have you ever seen....

...a more pathetic face then this? it was appearently a rough day at church. What you cannot see is that he spent half of it without his pants on. Poor kid has parents who do not think ahead all the time and we did not pack extra pants.

He does love church though...funny things lately: he loves to say prayers so after every song he hears he proceeds to fold arms, bow head and say "Heavenly Father, Jesus, amen" with arms raised high. Very cute. Or his other favorite thing if things are running a little longer than that he just yells out, "AMEN, AMEN".

Last week we got there early and were talking with people ahead of time and as we made our way to our seats baby enjoyed the prelude music by dancing down the aisle of the church. People stopped to laugh and stare. Very cute!

He loves to be a "helper" right now and follow all kinds of directions; throw this or that away, close the door, put piper away, etc. He enjoys being busy doing the things we have to get done which is funny but not all the helpful, right! So washing the dishes is his favorite thing to "help" with. As you can see it becomes more of a water play time than anything but he will throw a fit if you do not let him "help". He is so thoughtful!

And the last thing that keeps us rolling are these little lego cars that Amy sent for his birthday. They are Guido and Luigi from the movie Cars! And he loves them. Insists on carrying them every where; to bed, in the tub or shower but most importantly to read our one Cars book (that I picked up in the clearance bin so it is not a really good read but we can makeup a better story) Anyway, he is so funny with them. As they read together he will turn them to look at him as he reads the story and then will say, "look" and turn them to the book so they can see it. He does this with all kinds of things like to food, to mommy and out the car window. I mean these little guys come everywhere with us and you cannot have just one. One in each hand. So cute!! I love our little man.

house on our own...

Chris and I love a good project and I was organizing some pictures today-realizing that I never compared our before and afters or the do it ourselves versions of things. One of the reasons I love our house is because we have filled it with things we love, made, have collected in foreign travels or unique- not out of a box or a shelf decor. It makes our house-us. If it were up to only me the style would be different but we our building it together and it has made for some great memories.

their version $300

our version $35

RH Baby as well as Serena and Lily had wood boxes on casters that we both fell in love with. Theirs were $89-120 each.

We now have several of these around the house and I love them. Ours were about $20 each.

Remember this sad Stow chair? Love the lines, brand and how sturdy it was so we learned how to reupholster and a few months later (we are slow) we had this extra chair for our front living room.

bought it for $20 + fabric and a few other materials=$50 total

(the coloring in the picture is off but it matches the wall and our pottery barn pillows and window treatments perfectly)

conflicted

I love these little photos-loving on his chip, then he sees himself and begins to laugh out loud! He is such a happy, silly little boy!

WARNING: needing to vent! So I am writing here which is a safe place to let it out-I am feeling anxious, overwhelmed and nervous about what the next few months will bring. Everyone tells us it will be over soon and we should just look forward but what about right now. How do we make it through today, this week until the next court date. My patience is running thin and I am just tired of it all. Visits, court, meetings, home visits, my conflicting feelings and even guilt! Disrupted naps and schedules...I know not that bad, right. I just want answers!

We have for years yearned for a baby of our own. And now we have been raising this boy as our own the problem is how can we now in good conscience just take him as our own! When his own biomom has the same desires and yearnings. And in the process of losing him we fear she will lose all hope of change or a life. It is actually really devastating. And I am not sure how to explain it but it is just heart wrenching! Why could there not be an easier solution? And why after all this time when things are coming to an end am I not more excited and pleased.

We have no solution and there has been no final decision...which I guess is part of the process. There are so many details that I hope one day will be clouded with my memory even better forgotten. But mostly I just wish that everyone involved would just have peace. And I guess that is my prayer for bio that she will have a life of love, peace and happiness; she deserves at least that. We all are not that different from each other.

funny kid...

Pirate Adventures must have been really interesting since he rode like this the entire way home.

Baby K found his floaty and enjoyed "swimming" through the house running and kicking his arms and legs all over the place. We laughed so hard!

His new favorite pharse, "what happened?" (with his pudgey fingers up by his face) after he knocks something or does something he knows he should not!

open the frig the other night to find baby Jesus from our Nativity hanging out by the salsa! love this kid....

round 2

hopefully these will survive more than a month! poor kid...

birthday pictures

He does not sit still for a second even with Chris distracting him I barely got a clear picture. But it is fun to have them documented. Even now I look back and think how different he looks. We have finally cut his hair and oh my goodness it was long! And his glasses ah! What a cutie.

He is a big boy!

birthday boy

We have a 2 year old! What!! I cannot believe where this year went but it has been a good one and he has changed and grown and learned so much this last year. And we are so grateful he is still with us and look forward to many other birthdays!

the morning of his birthday I made pancakes and we sang happy birthday with a candle. We have been practicing this song and he was excited to sing it and blow out the candle.

I made his cake again this year and I think it turned out ok except for his red face that started to melt off. I am still not sure what happened to it because everything else lasted and stayed in place. ? Oh well. He was not a huge fan anyway! He never likes desserts anyway but was pretty funny with Elmo and played with his face and the candle. It was cute!

grandparents know him really well and sent some great gifts; books, a train whistle (which he pretends he can whistle-he loves it) and we got him more thomas the train sets. He was very excited to open presents and was a good sport while I tried to take pictures. It was a really fun day. Happy 2nd birthday little man!