Saturday, March 19, 2011


all smiles copy

This was from January but with the computer down I am just now getting to ALL of the pictures. I have taken a ton...of the baby.

We are learning more and more about this system and how much of it needs to change. We do recognize that it is what it is and we cannot but we are motiviated to get involved. Maybe lobbing in Albany for NY state law to change a little?? Something. But that will have to be another day or year.

We spent 4 and half hours on Monday at court and then in a meeting with bio mom and everyone involved in the case. Mind you this is one family! Meaning hundreds of thousands of dollars and probably many more hours are being spent on this particular case. It makes me mad just thinking about it. Things are changing and we hope for the good in our future but we fear that it will take a very long time and will be a battle.

We got there at 8:30am to check in and hopefully be one of the first cases to be heard by our judge. No such luck! We sat until 11:30 waiting for bio moms lawyer, the law guardian and who knows what or who else. We just sat there. We did talk with bio mom and actually had some coherent conversations. We met the legal father....interesting. We talked with the CASA worker, the law guardian. Other lawyers and families waiting. We watched tv, we tried to take a little nap. Argh...and waited some more.

After all this we got in there and the arguments began. 20 minutes later we were done. Bio moms lawyer argued that the information/written instructions given to bio mom were unclear and that is why she has not been successful in taking are of the baby. We not only write it out every visit but we verbally explain it to her as well. She also has a visit worker to help her and sometimes CASA or parent educator one on one. (and she still cannot understand?). The lawyer requested that a new typed form be given every visit and that a recorder be offered to help bio mom. She then argued that the parent educator courses that bio mom is taking is not specific enough for her to gain the knowledge she needs to care for him. (he is a really easy going baby BTW). She also talked about specific instances, in question bio mom about them, bio mom did not remember doing those things and so the lawyer petitioned the county to get neurological testing done. They know she has memory gaps.

All in all nothing has changed. We have him for 6 more months until the next permanency hearing and in that time we just continue. Really? Why are we taking all this time and energy. In the same breath I realize that this is good for us too. It shows we have given her every opportunity and chance. It gives the county time to complete the TPR (temination of parental rights) and to document ongoing struggles.

So we just wait....and enjoy the fatman!!

quilt 1_edited-1 copy.jpg

1 comment:

Liz said...

I know it can be frustrating, but hang in there. It took FOREVER to get the parental rights terminated before we adopted my two youngest sisters. They'd even been in foster care for over 4 years beforehand and everything was clearly documented. It seems like a VERY similar situation and everything turned out great in the end. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.